Scanning the world, we are bound to be presented with evidence of nations, organisations and families going through cycles of bliss and hopelessness in their lives.
Some of the countries of the world have been under a dark cloud in one shape or form for sometime now – be it from a political, humanitarian or economic point of view. There is however some ray of hope emerging in a number of countries across the world.
For example, some countries are experiencing changes in leadership, others are experiencing reconciliation efforts whilst others are experiencing improvement in their economic growth. There is a sense of positivity in the air for these countries, at least this is the case in my country. There are some signs of sunshine emerging from under the dark cloud.
This cycle of bliss and hopelessness is true for our individual lives too and it is always a beautiful feeling when signs of hope emerge after going through a rough patch. The truth of the matter is that the tide often turns when we make an effort to bring about the necessary changes in our status quo.
When you find yourself in the deep end of the pool of life, you have two options: sink or get to the shallow end. To get to the shallow end, you need to choose to swim and actually swim there. If you make no effort to swim to the shallow end, you will sink. If you think and talk about swimming but you don’t swim, you will sink. So choose to swim and do swim to the shallow end. Alternatively cry for help to be saved to the shallow end.
It is at the shallow end where your hope will be restored, where calm will come back in your life and where you will be able to continue creating your life. Now the big question is how do you swim to the shallow end? How do you restore hope in your life?
These three simple steps will help you to swim to safety:
1. Acknowledge that you are in the deep end of your pool
Real solutions only come in the wake of acknowledging that there is a problem. When we deny the existence of a problem, solutions are delayed and problems persist. You will know of the existence of a problem in your life when you begin to experience suffering. Suffering should never be ignored. Suffering that can be eliminated should not be tolerated or accepted as a norm in our lives. Be fully present in your life so that you will know when suffering visits you.
2. Let go of being a victim and choose to seek help
When we are suffering, we either talk about our suffering seeking sympathy or we say nothing about our suffering. Playing ‘poor me victim’ when you are suffering is not a solution. On the other hand, suffering in silence is not a solution either.
In Setswana language there is a saying that ‘ngwana yo o sa leleng o swela tharing’. Looseley translated this means a child who does not cry will die in a baby carrier. The essence of this proverb is that when you need help, ask. This is different from complaining and being a victim. If you don’t ask you will not receive the help you need and this will prolong your suffering.
When you find yourself at the deep end of the pool of your life and you are drowning in your problems, seek help. As mentioned in point 1 above, you will know that you need help when you start to experience suffering. Complaining and suffering in silence are not solutions. These will not bring about the much needed help. Suffering will not bring you the restoration of hope. To restore hope in your life, you will need some help. To get the necessary help, you need to raise your hand and say: “I need help.”
3. Decide where you will seek help from
This is easier said than done but it is doable. When you have identified your problem, you can now identify possible sources for your help. A good starting point is your close circle of friends and family. There may be people whose lives inspire you or people who have overcome what you are going through. Choose to speak to people you believe will help you. If you can afford, another option is to consult professionals who assist people to overcome what you are going through.
The key message is that when you are at the deep end, don’t remain in the deep end. If you do, you will sink. So, take action to swim to a place where you can restore calm in your life and hope. This will enable you to start over.
How have you moved yourself from the deep end to the shallow end to restore hope in your life?
