By Mzukona Mantshontsho
ETHEL MATSEBULA wrote Bloodline Realities – unveiling the truths hidden within family, heritage and destiny!
Within each family unit there is a unique genetic bond that cannot be broken. However as we journey through life, stuff happens; we are hurt and hurt others. We also hurt ourselves, depending on how we react on each situation. Soon we develop negative emotions like anger, bitterness, shame, and rejection. These then become generational traumas that pollute our bloodlines.
It is important to confront these issues head-on because you cannot conquer what you cannot confront. Also, since we have been hurt or hurt others, we need to forgive those who hurt us, and even forgive ourselves. We ask God to forgive us and receive our Healing.
Only then could we have healthy families and productive communities. We are assured of our inheritance and destiny.
Although in my early childhood I did not experience the love of both my parents, I was much loved by my grandmother, uncles and aunties from my maternal family.
I grew up in a loving environment.
By the time I connected with my parents at age 12, their marriage had already developed cracks, I saw how my mother was ill-treated, and this had a negative impact on me. I Saw my mother being abused, suffering in silence, families unable to assist, even the Community. I saw myself developing anger towards my father whom I regarded as an abuser, could not even appreciate his sacrifices of paying for my education at an expensive school. I judged him.
Then I missed out on having a healthy relationship with him.
My mother redefined the way she thought she was growing up her girl child but in essence she was transferring her own pain of growing up under an abusive father because she never opened up about her own wounds to be healed.
Even with my mother I realized she appeared to love me because of what I could do for her since at 18 years I had to join the labor force and became the bread winner in the family. My father had long deserted the family. Deep down I had developed anger issues.
Unknowingly I got entangled in my parents’ lives for a better part of my life. When he returned home, after more than 30 years absence my mother accepted him, I felt betrayed and did not understand the whole system of parents, family, relatives etc. I had so many questions but no one I could trust enough to empty myself to. I am the eldest and my sisters were too young to understand all that was happening around us.
So, I resolved I would seek all the answers from God my creator. I am still learning. This book therefore is about my personal journey searching for my identity within my family structure, my heritage and my destiny.
What is your view in terms of success in Entrepreneurship?
It would help to go for training in entrepreneurship. Engage the services of a Financial Planner who would guide in terms of fundamental business start-ups so that you start your business on a sound footing. Learn as much as you can about the business you are venturing into. Interact with other business people in like field.
Tell us about your early life to your role today
Straight after completing my high school, I got a job in the financial industry where I worked for over thirty years. Our training was in-house most of the time. I later did a Certificate in Business Administration (UNISA), then Business Training on Smes Business Start -ups and Business Growth. I am completely retired from any business activity now.
What does your role as an Author mean to you?
I started writing as a means of finding myself, a means of detangling myself from negative emotions, or common traits identifiable within the family bloodline, if any. There were patterns of abuse, generational trauma running through the Bloodline that I needed to deal with. I then realized these are common traits that affect all humanity. It is no longer my problem alone.
What are the most critical resources for your successful leadership and writing?
Shared experiences could help other people to come out and open up on their generational traumas and be healed. It is to sensitize the reader to add their voices to the silent voices of victims of abuse encourage them to seek counselling early and not suffer in silence or wait until it is too late. Their silence has a negative impact on their children and close relatives who share their bloodline even future generations.
Honestly this has been a heart matter. Looking within myself, remembering the things that made me happy, those that made me sad and creating a better version of myself moving forward. I have one manuscript that I am currently working on; maybe another after that then it will be fine.
What are your words of advice for young people, particularly women to take that first step and start community projects or small businesses?
Determination, searching for a better version of yourself. With this confidence you will be able to identify community projects that will address the needs of your community and improve their livelihood. Know your strengths and weaknesses. Get the community involved, get them to work with you and own the project.
What are your thoughts on Covid-19 in terms of small businesses?
Covid-19 affected all people, finding us completely unprepared. It is important to do a proper research on the business venture you wish to undertake. Seek the advice of a Financial Advisor and equip yourself with all the information you need including Risk analysis and environmental issues. This information is readily available to you to make an informed decision.
What is the legacy that you would want to leave when you retire, if you ever will?
That I added my voice to the cry for healing of our people on generational traumas encouraged them to speak up on their issues of abuse, seek help early and not suffer in silence and wait until it’s too late. People need to be made aware these issues if unaddressed end up affecting people yet unborn through the corrupted bloodline.
How does your work, writing DIRECTLY contribute to the community?
It is a cry for justice. Victims need to be heard and their matters treated with the sensitivity they deserve. They must know that their silence does impact negatively the very children they proclaim to love. And we all end up being victims of abuse.
What have been your highs and lows of your writing and personal career?
Society needs to evolve and be in tune with modern trends. Silence can no longer be golden when our threads of being human continue to be corrupted. Our laws must have teeth. The more people get to know and understand, do something about their wounds and receive healing then we have healthier families and communities.
This book is my first meaningful contribution. It has been a very long process always finding something new to learn. Getting it to the public domain was another frightening experience. But the very fact that I have lived through these experiences and survived it all is really humbling.
My working experience in the banking industry was fruitful. I started very young and enjoyed every moment. I left when I wanted to leave. I got into business with an eagerness to contribute and make a difference to the training of the Small Medium Enterprise sector to help them run their businesses properly. This was also a Government initiative at the time. Unfortunately things did not go well and left me at my bottom lowest.
When you not at work, what do you get up to, and where can people follow you online to join the Movement and buy your Book?
I begin with my morning walk, have breakfast, and do some reading and some writing depending on the mood of the day. I guess I live a normal life that people of my age group live.
I am available in most of the social media platforms: Facebook, Tick Tok, and Instagram. I am currently taking orders as follows:
Pre orders R200
Cod………….R250
Contact. Number: +268 7642 1032
Payment via ewallet on same number
Delivery within 2weeks of making order to the printers
We do make arrangements to deliver in the Republic of South Africa via Courier.
