Yo School Magazine

My take on Toxic Parents!

By Osego Molose
Toxic parent is a term for parents who display abuse of their powers, they have characteristics of manipulation, and self-centredness.
Most of the time your parents may be emotionally unavailable or uncaring for your needs. They only want to hear things they want to hear; they hardly give you time to talk about yourself to them or social related problems about you. Almost all “toxic parents” say they love their children, and they usually mean it.
Real love towards children is also a way of behaving. Toxic parents do extreme unloving things in the name of love. It may occur to you that you are overreacting. If you share your feelings toward your mom/dad they get to minimise it, and or downplay it.
Although “toxic parenting” isn’t a medical term, when people discuss toxic parents, they are describing parents who behave in ways that cause guilt and fear.
A toxic parent is more concerned about their own needs, able to manipulate you so that you could be dependent on them in everything. They won’t apologize or even admit they wrong even when they were actually wrong.
Toxic parents could verbally abuse, using or manipulate you through emotions. When you did something wrong like not telling your parent you are going to a friend’s place, your parent does the silent treatment towards you and stop until they would want to use you for something in their own benefit.
Toxic parents or more likely to invade your privacy and not allow to make your own decisions. The reason they could behave such it is a result of an abusive childhood upbringing or previous marriage that was abusive and was not good for their health.
It has a significant impact on a person’s feelings of self-worth and trust in others. Once you realize that you are exposed to toxicity, strong mental health and gives you the courage and urge to cut out your toxic parents out of your life.
While you cannot change human beings, set boundaries limit interaction with you toxic parents. It’s okay to say NO to your parents when they’ve gone too far, if your parents are not respecting your boundaries you need to come up with a plan to cut ties.
This process may be overwhelming but it is part of healing, you don’t have to embark this journey of healing alone. Consider going to therapy for some ideas on how to start this journey. If you can’t afford, simply write your feelings down or rather talk to a family member you trust. No matter what, be sure to give yourself some time it could bring emotions you are not expecting.
Reach out for help!


Mzukona Mantshontsho is the founder of Nyakaza Media Solutions. Nyakaza Media Solutions is an organisation that was established to help community organisations, business entities, and schools to research, write, document, report, analyse, edit, publish newsletters or bulletins in hard-copy, on-line and maintain websites with the relevant content as per the editorial policy of that organisation, school or entity. Nyakaza Media Solutions has a vision to promote and bring dialogue to communities, businesses and schools about issues that affect them. Nyakaza Media Solutions is on a mission to develop and encourage communities, businesses and learners to celebrate the good, applaud excellence, welcome growth, strive to be better individuals, businesses and communities, want more knowledge, discourage bad and counter-productive behaviour as well as communities, businesses and learners that want to be great SOUTH AFRICANS. Nyakaza Media Solutions is making use of Yo School Magazine as a platform that learners in all schools to make use of to write their stories.

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