By Africa Youth Hub
I had a conversation with some friends about how men and women are perceived in society. So many things came up, but one thing really stood out for me: a lot of men don’t even give themselves grace.
They’ve been so deeply shaped by the belief that they’re built for strength; that they’re made of iron and steel, that they’ve come to see emotions as something only women are allowed to feel.
For generations, we’ve passed down this idea that the boy must protect his sister, that a man must protect his woman. It’s been drilled so deeply into our culture that many men don’t even feel safe enough to express their emotions. They bottle everything up and are unbelievably hard on themselves.
Let me tell you a true story from when I was just 10 years old. I lost my school headmaster.
How?
Some robbers broke into his house. He didn’t have a weapon, but he still tried to fight them off because he wanted to protect his wife and daughters. He was stabbed. He died.
More than a decade later, his wife and daughters are still without him. And they still say, “We wish he hadn’t tried to protect us.”
Now, I’m not saying men should stop being men.
But I am saying this:
Dear man, you are human. Give yourself grace. You don’t have to be strong all the time. You don’t have to protect everyone. You don’t have to hide your pain. You don’t have to fight when you don’t feel like it.
Dear man, you can cry. You can feel. You can ask for flowers. You can crave love and appreciation. You deserve it.
Yesterday was Children’s Day.
As we celebrate our kids, let’s remind them, “boys and girls” alike, that they are loved. That they are strong. That it’s okay to feel pain. It’s okay to show joy. It’s okay to cry, to laugh out loud, to be soft and human. Let’s teach them that strength isn’t in silence, it’s in being real.
